{"id":5350,"date":"2022-11-29T23:50:03","date_gmt":"2022-11-29T23:50:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/?p=5350"},"modified":"2022-12-01T18:03:40","modified_gmt":"2022-12-01T18:03:40","slug":"why-im-glad-im-a-lifelong-learner-my-battle-with-chronic-fatigue-syndrome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/why-im-glad-im-a-lifelong-learner-my-battle-with-chronic-fatigue-syndrome\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I&#8217;m Glad I&#8217;m a Lifelong Learner &#8211; My Life with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Content warning: suicide is mentioned.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m sure we\u2019ve all seen those memes circulating that suggest learning something like algebra doesn\u2019t help with everyday life. While I believe that not everyone has to take algebra to the highest grade, I like to disagree with the memes\u2019 suggestions that <a href=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/finding-the-right-algebra-tutor-its-easier-than-finding-x\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">learning algebra has no benefits<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>We may not find ourselves pulling out an algebraic equation to solve something exactly as it\u2019s written in a math textbook. However, I have found myself using it over the years when trying to figure out how best to deal with my health concerns.<\/p>\n<p>The reasoning it takes to solve for \u2018x\u2019 in the textbook equations is akin to solving for the \u2018why\u2019 behind my health concerns. Sometimes I long for simpler times when I had an answer key at the back of the textbook to figure out if I was solving for \u2018x\u2019 correctly. Life doesn\u2019t always come with that answer key!<\/p>\n<p>(Yes, I now sometimes find myself longing for algebraic equations. Don\u2019t tell my children or my former math teachers!)<\/p>\n<p>A reason I\u2019m so passionate about wanting everyone to feel as though they can learn any subject at any age and with any ability level is that we all find ourselves needing to continuously learn as we go through life. This is the core of our <a href=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/the-twist\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Twisted Philosophy<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p>For myself, I was solving for the \u2018x\u2019 of why my health was rapidly declining. Among all the inconsistencies happening to me was one consistent piece: exercise (which is another lifelong passion for me) was actually hurting me. It was the repetition of this fact that led to a diagnosis for me.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat condition exists that exercise could hurt someone?\u201d is the question I asked my doctors (and there were many) over and over again.<\/p>\n<h4>The Diagnosis<\/h4>\n<p>Drum roll please\u2026 We got an answer after many months, many tests, and many specialist appointments. Have you heard of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis\/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME\/CFS)?<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s be honest, the first part of being diagnosed with this that I had to come to terms with was how to say \u201cmyalgic encephalomyelitis.\u201d I used the phonetic way I was taught in school to learn how! (And I may have also gone into YouTube and listened to others pronounce it as well.)<\/p>\n<p>In case you are curious, you pronounce it like this:<\/p>\n<p>my-al-jik<\/p>\n<p>en-ceph-a-lo-my-el-ite-iss<\/p>\n<p>When we talk, bear with me saying it out loud as I\u2019m still practicing ;)!<\/p>\n<p>We believe in making \u201cmiss-takes\u201d at Tutoring\u2026With A Twist (<a href=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/unique-system-of-tutoring\/\">see the clapperboard in our Twisted process!<\/a>). In saying this word, I really should have a clapperboard handy so that we can go through all my takes of trying to pronounce it right!<\/p>\n<p>My eldest child, River, teases me because when I talk about it now, I say, \u201cME\/CFS\u201d. He asks me, \u201cWhy do you have to say the ME? Why not just say \u2018Chronic Fatigue Syndrome\u2019?\u201d Excellent question, River, sweet child o\u2019 mine\u2026<\/p>\n<h4>What Is Myalgic Encephalomyelitis \/ Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?<\/h4>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-5359 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Effects-on-body-270x300.jpg\" alt=\"effects of chronic fatigue syndrome\" width=\"394\" height=\"438\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Effects-on-body-270x300.jpg 270w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Effects-on-body-768x854.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Effects-on-body-100x111.jpg 100w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Effects-on-body.jpg 921w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 394px) 100vw, 394px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Why put the ME there? Why not just refer to it as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Over the years, CFS got somewhat of a bad rap since it was seen as one of those conditions that people got diagnosed with when nothing else could be found wrong with them. So, it wasn\u2019t really seen as \u201clegit\u201d.<\/li>\n<li>There wasn\u2019t a lot known about it, so oftentimes people would be told to \u201cjust rest more\u201d or to \u201cexercise\u201d.<\/li>\n<li>Other times, people were diagnosed with depression\/anxiety and given medication for that.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Eventually, enough people were getting diagnosed with CFS that people in influential positions started suggesting that more research needed to be done.<\/p>\n<p>With this research being done, the ME was added to CFS to add validity to it as a condition.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-5363 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/ME_CFS-features-300x168.jpg\" alt=\"features of chronic fatigue syndrome\" width=\"951\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/ME_CFS-features-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/ME_CFS-features-1024x574.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/ME_CFS-features-768x431.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/ME_CFS-features-1536x861.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/ME_CFS-features-100x56.jpg 100w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/ME_CFS-features-962x538.jpg 962w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/ME_CFS-features-1425x799.jpg 1425w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/ME_CFS-features.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 951px) 100vw, 951px\" \/>I\u2019m called to share this since, as a result of my dedication to being a lifelong learner, I have been able to study this syndrome through an 18-week course (alongside other reading and workshops). Being a lifelong learner helps me be an active participant in my own life with chronic fatigue syndrome (just like how our Twisted Learners become active participants in their own success), and this is a huge benefit to my immediate family and all who work with Tutoring and <a href=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/parenting-corner\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting\u2026With A Twist<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll be writing some further blogs about my life with chronic fatigue syndrome in hopes that the information shared will help someone! Here are some analogies of how ME\/CFS affects a person:<\/p>\n<h4><strong>ANALOGY #1: Battery Wears Out<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Have you had an iPhone, a computer, or any device whose battery life gets shorter and shorter and needs to be charged sooner and sooner? It gets to the point where the message \u201cyou have 10% battery left\u201d seems to come up shortly after it\u2019s unplugged at 100%. And sometimes (THE HORROR) you don\u2019t quite make it to the charger before it dies. Or do you need to almost be constantly plugged in because it just doesn\u2019t hold a charge at all?!<\/p>\n<p>Welcome to my life with chronic fatigue syndrome!<\/p>\n<h4><strong>ANALOGY #2: It\u2019s Like Borrowing from the Mob<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Since we are not devices that can be plugged in like in the analogy above, \u2018some\u2019 people (who, me?!) may continue to keep going even when their battery is running on empty. When \u2018these\u2019 people (again, definitely not me!) do this, it\u2019s like they are borrowing their energy from the mob. So, you may get the energy at that moment, but there is a price to be paid for it.<\/p>\n<p>In the case of ME\/CFS, you may \u2018pay\u2019 physically, mentally, and\/or emotionally.<\/p>\n<p>There isn\u2019t a set manual that comes with having ME\/CFS that says if you run on empty for \u2018this\u2019 amount of time, the following consequences will happen. So, much like dealing with the mob, it\u2019s a surprise\u2026<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Will you be physically beaten so that you are achy and sore?<\/li>\n<li>Will you be traumatized so that you feel scared of what\u2019s lurking around the corner?<\/li>\n<li>Will your head be concussed so that you have moments of memory failure or word loss?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>For funsies, will it be a combination of all three?!<\/p>\n<h4>Sharing the Story of My Life with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome<\/h4>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-5362 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Talking-about-our-feelings-300x150.jpg\" alt=\"the rainbow of feelings\" width=\"614\" height=\"307\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Talking-about-our-feelings-300x150.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Talking-about-our-feelings-1024x512.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Talking-about-our-feelings-768x384.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Talking-about-our-feelings-100x50.jpg 100w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Talking-about-our-feelings-962x481.jpg 962w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Talking-about-our-feelings.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 614px) 100vw, 614px\" \/>It has taken me some time to share more as I needed to come to the other side of the very real emotional toll this took on me.<\/p>\n<p>I had some very legitimate suicidal thoughts\u2026 These thoughts would come out of nowhere.<\/p>\n<p>If you know me well, you will know that most of the time I\u2019m <em>that<\/em> annoying sunshine-and-unicorn girl whose favourite colour is rainbow glitter! This was innate within me\u2014not false positivity, but a belief that being alive was a seriously fantastical gift.<\/p>\n<p>When I was a little girl, if you had asked me what I wanted to be, I\u2019d have answered, \u201cI don\u2019t know what I want to be, but I know what I want to do. I want to help people.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I have worked with a lot of people with mental health issues and truly felt that I was well versed and effective in this area.<\/p>\n<p>So, when I suggest to you that I was having these thoughts, it wasn\u2019t so much the thoughts that were scary to me. (Well, ok, it wasn\u2019t a walk in the park.) It was the sheer suddenness of the thoughts coming on and not being able to hold on to ANY thought to pull me out of it.<\/p>\n<p>Imagine something that you are amazing at. Picture yourself doing it (or heck, pause reading this and actually go do it). Close your eyes and really feel the sensation of doing whatever it is. AmAzInG, right?!<\/p>\n<p>Really immerse yourself in the feeling of doing whatever it is!!!<\/p>\n<p>Next, I want you to imagine you\u2019ve totally forgotten how to do it, RIGHT in the midst of doing it. Imagine being in a loop of wanting to take the next step to do whatever it is that you are amazing at, but that you have totally and completely blanked on what to do next.<\/p>\n<p>Close your eyes and feel the sensation of your brain searching and searching for this next action.<\/p>\n<p>A little scary, eh?<\/p>\n<p>I was stuck in the loop of trying to get through the suicidal thought. It\u2019s like it was just beyond my cognitive abilities to get there, though I was sure something other than a suicidal thought existed.<\/p>\n<p>It was more than a little scary\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Fortunately, the suicidal thoughts that I was having did not progress beyond being just thoughts. The difficult part was that my brain wasn\u2019t able to access the next thought that would help me process feeling very sad. I got stuck in the loop of a suicidal thought as my brain was essentially short-circuiting. Sadness and grieving are quite normal. I had to understand that my brain, due to ME\/CFS, could not realize these were &#8220;normal&#8221; emotions when I didn\u2019t pace myself.<\/p>\n<p>If you are experiencing thoughts like these, or if you think someone you know might be experiencing something similar, you\u2019re not alone. I highly recommend checking out our collection of <a href=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/community-events-and-resources\/\">community resources<\/a>\u2014I promise it\u2019s worth it!<\/p>\n<h4>The Future &#8211; Living My Life with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome<\/h4>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-5360 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Finding-some-sunshine-in-it-all-240x300.jpg\" alt=\"finding some sunshine in chronic fatigue syndrome\" width=\"281\" height=\"351\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Finding-some-sunshine-in-it-all-240x300.jpg 240w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Finding-some-sunshine-in-it-all-819x1024.jpg 819w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Finding-some-sunshine-in-it-all-768x960.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Finding-some-sunshine-in-it-all-1229x1536.jpg 1229w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Finding-some-sunshine-in-it-all-100x125.jpg 100w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Finding-some-sunshine-in-it-all-962x1203.jpg 962w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Finding-some-sunshine-in-it-all-1425x1781.jpg 1425w, https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Finding-some-sunshine-in-it-all.jpg 1440w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 281px) 100vw, 281px\" \/>With an understanding of my condition, I have been able to find and engage the brain file that gives me permission to feel. And then I can rationalize that feeling and move with and through it.<\/p>\n<p>I am SLOWLY learning that borrowing from the mob is really not worth it. (An interesting question to ask yourself as you may potentially be doing the same in a particular area of your life.)<\/p>\n<p>In the season of giving and receiving, living my life with chronic fatigue syndrome makes me feel so grateful that I have such fantastical teams in place in my home and work life.<\/p>\n<p>I have loads more to share about this journey, so stay tuned.<\/p>\n<p>In the meantime, check out our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/TutoringWithATwist\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook page<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@tutoringwithatwist\/playlists\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">YouTube channel<\/a> for more Twisted content!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Content warning: suicide is mentioned. I\u2019m sure we\u2019ve all seen those memes circulating that suggest learning something like algebra doesn\u2019t help with everyday life. While I believe that not everyone has to take algebra to the highest grade, I like to disagree with the memes\u2019 suggestions that learning algebra has no benefits. We may not find ourselves pulling out an &#8230; <\/p>\n<div><a href=\"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/why-im-glad-im-a-lifelong-learner-my-battle-with-chronic-fatigue-syndrome\/\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":5361,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5350"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5350\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5364,"href":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5350\/revisions\/5364"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5361"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tutoringwithatwist.ca\/ns\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}